Graduating to a New Idea of Settling

Graduating From My Idea of “Settling”

Earlier this morning, I stumbled upon the following article:

Why Settle For Marriage When You Could Travel Instead?

… Which, unsurprisingly, I could relate to a lot of it.  But what WAS surprising, is that I feel like I have in some ways graduated from some of these ideas of “settling.”

For most of my life I have lived under the mantra of “Never settle” and “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”  These ideas bring you to amazing milestones and help you get to points in life you never thought you could experience, and they help you realize that life is truly limitless.  But what struck a chord with me this morning, is maybe I’m beginning to have a different idea of what “settling” really means.  And believe me, it is my biggest fear… the mere thought of the word “settling” makes me physically cringe.

I work in an industry where I am commonly one of the youngest people in the room, and some of the doctors I work with will ask if I’m straight out of college, to which I tell them “No, I’m actually 4 years out… and there’s a difference.”  Without fail, they will respond with a laugh, but I explain to them that yes there IS a difference between 23 and 27.  43 and 47 may have no difference, but I personally have felt a large difference between 23 and 27.  Here are a few examples:

  • Binge drinking (although not entirely absent 😉 ) is certainly rare – **side note – hangovers last for too many days, that’s the main reason **
  • Spending time with my family is something I cherish more now than ever
  • Skipping out on a few social events to get a solid nights rest actually sounds far more ideal
  • Maintaining a close group of true friends over a room full of acquaintance
  • Working out because it makes me feel good, more so than attempting to have the “perfect body”

This list could go on and on… but I think that my newer definition of “settling” can be added.

I was (and I hope I currently am not still… but I probably am) the QUEEN of FOMO (fear of missing out), and the antagonist of “settling,” and a lot of times I get scared.  Now this is a trait that I do not want to change because it is the catalyst that makes me reach for an extraordinary life, and living it to the fullest… but in a way it is unhealthy and I feel like I have needed to graduate from some of my thoughts.  Here are a few:

  • I don’t want to live in boring Virginia, it’s settling.
    1. You know what, there are a lot of amazing places in this world, and yes I would love to experience something different, but the opportunities that have been presented to me happen to be in the state I grew up in and these opportunities have been truly incredible. Not to mention, I have had the blessing of being geographically close to family and friends who love me most and — life’s short, and people are getting older… and I feel fortunate to be able to see them at my leisure.
  • I’m in a relationship, it’s settling.
    1. Now this is quite candid, but I struggle with this one probably the most. I figure that I should be out seeking the perfect “one” for me, and doing otherwise is living a life of settling.  But fortunately, my boyfriend is a realist, and he can help bring my head out of the clouds (for the most part).  We are certainly different people, he the calculator and I the dreamer, and on occasions I have feared that there’s someone else out there for me.  And you know what, there could be… millions.  And there could be millions for him too.  But we love each other, we support each other, we are unconditionally there for each other, we engage in what the other person likes to do, and damn it we have a lot of fun with each other.  If that is settling, then maybe it’s time I grow up and find a new meaning for “settling.”  Maybe it’s time I find a happy medium between realism and idealism.
  • Working for corporate America, and not traveling the world like I had hoped, it’s settling.
    • Yes – I do wish we were like other countries who get a month off every year to travel, and weren’t just working for ‘the man.’ But if you get down to it – my job is truly amazing.  I get to “travel the world” in my own little microenvironment.  No day for me is like the one before.  There is no routine, no monotony, and no boredom when it comes to my job.  Yes, there is a lot of pressure and a lot of stress, but my job’s involved in saving people’s lives and truly making their lives better.  This is all I’ve ever wanted to do in life, and somehow I am getting paid to do it.  I am literally responsible for ensuring people have a heart beat so that they could spend the remainder of their lives with their loved ones and so that maybe they could go off and travel the world.  What could possibly be more rewarding than that?! 

It’s a Wonderful Life is my favorite movie, in more reasons than one.  But probably the most prominent reason is that I identify a lot with George Bailey.  I too want to “see the world” and do something “big and important.”  But what I need to realize, in the same way that George Bailey did, is that I am doing big things in my little ways in my little town.  And you are too.

I will never let go of my mantra: “Never settle” but I think I would like to make a more adult addition to it.

  • Never settle… with losing someone who loves you because you think someone better could be out there.
  • Never settle… on losing your job because you feel like you’re missing the world. You are currently making your world, and people love you and count on you for it.  Only leave your world if you know deep down it’s right.  Until then, make the most of your world.
  • Never settle… your happiness because you are too busy trying to find your happiness. “Life IS what happens while you’re making other plans” – (John Lennon).

With all this being said… I still believe we should all:

Take risks, see the world, up-root, be uncomfortable, make goals you don’t think you can reach, and so on and so forth But don’t be so focused on “not settling,” that you deprive yourself from appreciating everything you have in front of your eyes and making the most of it.

-Take it from me,

Queen of FOMO

 

 

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