The Deal Breaker

  So the semester ended and it was a rough one.  It was pretty odd too i must admit, just knowing I should have graduated if I weren’t behind.  But you know what?  I don’t regret anything, except for one thing… selfishness.  I guess when you’re a 23 year old and single, you have one person to look after.  I’m fighting for what I want to do, what I want to be, who I want to grow into… all the while forgetting what life is really about.  Life is about love.  A handful of people may or may not know the adventure I’m headed on in a few days, I tried not to boast about it because it is something that’s very dear to my heart. 

  On Tuesday I’ll be boarding a plane in D.C. to Bo, Sierra Leone for 2 weeks.  My sorority sister Nicky has done it for a few years and I contacted her because I knew this was something I wanted to do.  I really don’t know a lot, I have to admit.  But what I do know is that I will be spending two weeks in Africa, living in an orphange with no elecricity, makeup, celebrity gossip, reality TV, or any of the other mindless topics that so consume our society.  We are going to spend 2 weeks with children that have never known their parents; that fight off sickness and war everyday yet have an appreciation for life in way that we could never imagine.  When I first talked to Nicky about going on the trip I was a little nervous.  This group is affiliated with a church, and although I believe and love God dearly, I was nervous about preaching it because I’m not sure how confident I was in that.  Nicky looked at me and said “Kelly, these kids are more religious than you could ever dream.”  I’ll never forget that.  Here I am living in suburban America with the world handed to me, while these kids have literally n.o.t.h.i.n.g, yet they have more love inside of them than I could ever dream of.  I’m excited about meeting a ten year old that could teach me more about life than I’ve ever learned before.  The first team meeting we was in August and I went because I had been working up in DC this summer.  We went around the table and asked each other why we were going on the trip.  On a side note, I knew nobody hahah.  Anways, everyone said their piece, and one of the guys said “This trip is a deal breaker, I mean my life is changed because of this.  I am a college student and really I need to be spending my money on car payments but making this trip is more important to me.” 

  I loved how he said “this trip is a deal breaker.”  I feel like secretly that’s what we are all looking for.  Something deeper than where we are now.  We all want a life changing experience.  It may not be that we want these things, but as people in this generation we need experiences that help us appreciate all the simple things we have in life.  I mean to think that in a week I will be brushing my teeth with a candle and avoiding water at all costs due to parasites, I hope to come back and think fondly of all the simple things we do daily.  This trip is not going to be easy, and I hope it’s not for the lack of elecricity, warm water, or comfortable bed… but that I’ll have to leave an orphanage full of children I fall in love with.  I want this trip to be difficult because I met a kid (or kids) that just completely turned my life upside down, and made me realize how much I love all that I have and all the people in my life.  I want this trip to be difficult because when I hug those kids goodbye I’ll feel like I leave a piece of my heart with them.  I’m ready for a “deal breaker.”  This may be a little too much information for some of you reading this, but no matter what you believe in… I’m going to go ahead and say it.  I believe that God put me on the earth to be a part of missions like this.  I think this is why I am here at the end of the day, to share love. 

  We all know you don’t need to go to Africa to do this.  It’s the person next door, the lonely person in your class, the old woman at your church that sits alone everytime, the friend you haven’t called in a long time that you know is going through a rough time, your parents you love, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your best friend… they all deserve to recieve a glimpse of the love that these children in Africa give everyday.  No matter what your faith is, or if you have one at all.. the message is the same.   “The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” – Mitch Albom.  In the spirit of the holidays, whatever it is, or just the fact that you are alive… go love somebody today.  A simple smile or acknoledgement that you care about what the other person has to say could change somebody’s life.  “Be the change you wish to see in this world. – Ghandi” I will be writing in my diary daily, so expect blog posts when I get back to technology….

I love people, I love God, I love this wonderful chance to live.  I love you 🙂 

Something I dabbled with…If you want to feel infinite.

It MUST be finals week, spending way too much time procrastinating.

Some of the tracks aren’t so good because it was my first time… but I hope you enjoy!


Kyle Dooley inspired me for most of this.

Hopeless Romantic

A pretty personal poem… but it is probably important to share.  People feel comfort in what they can relate to.

As todays turn to tomorrows, the air becomes colder

Looking into the mirror, I grow older

It’s a blow to my chest when I remember what was

It’s shredding to the heart when I realize its fuzz

As if love never ensued

Cynical thoughts of love being so crude

Envelop my mind, leave me without hope

Turning to outlets, mere ways to cope

Being in love makes us truly feel whole

How do you replace it when it is stole?

When is it time to heal the scar?

When do you know you have come too far?

The future is bright and my spirit is bursting

For true love is what I am clandestinely thirsting

The hole will be filled in this derelict heart

For every soul eventually discovers its counterpart.

Music is food for the soul…

Also I feel like this is me a lot:

Here are a few songs that I haven’t been able to stop listening to all semester:


help you get through a creative rut, or exams!


More posts about my upcoming trips this December to come…

Procrastinating After An Event.

It’s been an extremely long time since I have written… sorry.
Today is December 9th, and yesterday a tragic even to occurred here at Virginia Tech.  Another senseless act of violence happened on this campus, although completely unlike the one in 2007, scars had been re-opened.

As I sit here trying to study for my finals, that seem so much less important than they did a few days ago, I can’t help but feel the need to write…

There’s a reason why there is a sense of welcome every time you enter this town

There’s a reason why Virginia Tech is advertised anywhere in the country

There’s a reason why our fans are obsessed to the point of obnoxious, to other schools

There’s a reason why people travel from all over the country to come back to Nowheresburg, Virginia year after year.

There’s a reason why our football team is going to one of the biggest bowls this year.

There’s a reason why everyone who graduates from here decks some part of their house in Hokie gear or names their first dog “Beamer”

I’m sure that from an outsider that follows media, we look like a football school that underwent a few tragedies.

…For those of you that feel this way, I want you to know that it is so much more than you will ever know…

…It’s more than a winning season.  It’s more than a sport.  It’s more than the fact that we have faced adversity.

We are Virginia Tech.  We love our school and couldn’t be more proud to represent despite all that we have been through.  Our blood pumps in maroon and orange and we may come across as obnoxious fans because this university means so much more to us than just a great education.  This place is our life.  We are family.  Anyone ever affiliated with Virginia Tech is a Hokie, we do not discriminate.  We all share a bond that cannot be put into words and a unity that is undeniably indestructible.  We respect each other, and we take a piece of the Hokie stone with us for the rest of our lives.  We are thankful and privileged to be given the chance to go here, and forever be a part of this community. 

As I left the candlelight vigil this evening with thousands of my Hokie family, I caught the eyes of the family of the officer who was deceased just yesterday.  I could not even fathom the loss they have dealt with nor could  I even know how to handle a situation as inconceivable as this.  So through our teary eyes we just nodded to eachother and I just raised my candle.  In that moment of shear despair and bewilderment of humankind, there was a glimpse of a mutual respect for each other.  We knew that we were both Hokies  and that we loved each other.  There were no words, and there will never be words, that can describe that moment, but I will carry it with me for the rest of my life. 

Fight like a Hokie, dream like a Hokie, be courageous like a Hokie, respect like a Hokie, explore like a Hokie, love like a Hokie.  All of this and more can be summed up in three words.

Be a Hokie.

  I love you all.