Not a bucket list, just a sappy entry

This is not about bucket list events, because let’s face it they don’t happen everyday.  I just felt an inspiration to write.

When did life get so selfish?  When did all of my thoughts just become about myself?  I want to just live for other people, but how do you do that when you are trying to figure out your own life?

I guess I just wish things were more simple.  Day in and day out I am working towards an invisible goal.  I chose an extremely difficult major where I don’t fit the mold and extremely doubt I will pursue a career in.  I like to stay positive and think about the endless possibilities I will have post-graduation, but it’s scary to think I still have no idea.  It’s times like these that I wish I were still back-packing.  You did not need to be a genius to be accepted, or a status to get you higher.  All you needed was a fire inside to do something.

Somewhere inside there is a raging fire to be the absolute best.  I want to make a name for myself and show that there was a purpose I was put on this earth. I want to blow the socks off of a competitor and I would do anything to get there.  The problem is, I have no idea where to channel this energy.  I don’t just want to be a floater.  I just want something I would be really good at, it’s depressing just being mediocre at things you don’t really enjoy.  Sorry for a depressing entry…I just have been doing a lot of thinking. 

This desire will ALWAYS guide me somewhere.  I have to keep it alive and hopefully the fire will turn into a torch that shows me where to go.  Never let your emotions go because they make you who you are.  When you let them go you are just ignoring them.  Never let your heart freeze over, empathy is the most important trait to have.  Love others with all your heart and maybe your future will be shown to you when you are not looking.

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